One on the house
A short story of the American writer-humorist Corey
Ford about the policeman and robber "At the expense of the
institution."
By Corey "Ford
“It was good to
find a friend at that lonely hour…”
“Give us a drink of orangeade”.
The man behind the counter slammed the drawer of the
cash register, shut and whirled in surprise: “Eh?”
“One orangeade”, repeated the newcomer calmly, sliding
a coin across the damp counter.
“Yes. Coming up.” His hand slowly left his hippocket,
and the colour flooded back into his face. He flung open the metal cover, and
emptied a scoopful of orange liquid into a tall tumbler. “Wait till I put a pip
to show it’s real.”
“Thanks. Your clock right, there?”
“Yes — just on five.”
“Broadway and Forty-fourth is a pretty empty corner
this time of the morning,” mused the stranger, sipping his drink slowly. “Just
before dawn.”
“Yes, when they turn all the streets lamps out.” His
eyes searched the face of the newcomer across the counter. “By the way –have I
seen you around here before?”
“Don’t know — have you?”
“I mean, I wondered if you came here very often.”
“Not very.” He prodded the coin with his forefinger.
“Here.”
“No. Keep it. That drink was on the house.”
“Aren’t afraid someone will spot you? For all you know
I might be checking… ”
“Huh! You wouldn’t be wandering around this time of
night. It’s early in the evening — and later when the theatre crowd is
out — that they keep an eye on you. This time of night nobody ever comes
around. I know.”
“Tough hours, haven’t you?” He twisted the tumbler
between his fingers.
“I’ll say. From eight p.m. to eight a.m. And
does that sun look good in the morning! And does the evening drag out! Work
like a slave all during the theatre rush, and then again at the intervals, and
again when the shows are out. At about twelve o’clock the crowd starts thinning
out, and after that all you get is the odd drunk or a tramp of some sort. Then
when you’re tired out, you got to spend the rest of the night with nothing to
do, and believe me each hour seems about four hours long.”
“I should think there’d be a good chance of someone
sticking you up.”
“Huh?” — darting a quick look at the other’s
face. “You ever been in a hold-up?”
“Only once” — shaking his head. “But that was
enough. Some fella comes in and start talking, same you’re talking to me now. I
didn’t notice him particularly. He buys a drink and slides me the money across
the counter, and I turn to open the drawer of the cash register. Well, all of a
sudden he hauls out a rod and tells me to stick them up.”
“What did you do?”
“What did I do? Say, it wasn’t my money! I just stuck
both mitts as high in the air as I could reach, and told him to take the whole
block away if he wanted to. So he grabbed all there was in the open drawer,
stuck a gag in my mouth. tied me up and left me under the counter. Neatest
thing you ever…”
“You would not know him again?”
“I don’t know. He was about my height, and he had dark
hair something like me. Of course I was pretty scared and I couldn’t”
“That’s him’ all right. That was Joe Mallan.” The newcomer
grinned and held out his hand. “That’s the bird I’m after. I’m a plain-clothes
man, buddy. There’s been so many stick-ups with the firm lately that the
lieutenant detailed me to make the rounds.”
“Why!” the face of the man behind the counter broke
into a delighted smile. “That certainly was on me, all right. I thought you
wasnbsp;— was a burglar!”
The visitor set down the empty glass and wiped his
lips with the back of his hand.
“Well, I guess I better be pushing along. Thanks for
the drink. Goodnight.”
“That’s all right. That was on the house.”
The man behind the counter continued to nod pleasantly
as the plain-clothes man ambled along the road and disappeared around the next
corner. The smile vanished. He stooped swiftly, tightened the gag in the mouth
of a roped and bound figure that lay under the counter, then rose again and
glanced cautiously up and down the street.
“Yes.” He vaulted the counter silently. “One
on the house,” he murmured.
Notes | Notes
1.
One on the house - Treat at the expense of the institution.
(One drink at the expense of the institution)
2.
On me. - At my expense.
3.
Coming up - Now, I'm coming.
4.
For all you know - How do you know.
5. fella = fellow - guy
6.
There are so many
stick-ups with this firm - This
gang has committed so many robberies.
7.
the keep an eye to
on by somebody - watch out for
anyone
8.
of the back with
one's hand's - back of hand
9.
to burst into a delighted smile
10.
when shows are out - when entertainment events are closed
1.
lonely [ləʊnlɪ] - lonely, languishing with
loneliness, deserted
2. drink (n) - drink
3. orangeade [ˌɒrɪndʒeɪd]
- orangeade, lemonade
4. counter - counter,
rack
5.
slam - slamming; slam, slam
to slam the door - slam the door
to slam the door - slam the door
6. drawer [drɔːə] -
drawer
7. register cash - cash
register
8.
whirl [(h) wɜːl] - whirling, turmoil; twirl
9. newcomer [njuːˌkʌmə]
- the newcomer; newbie
10.
slide (slid) - slide, slip; slip
to the coin
to the coin
11.
damp [dæmp] - moist,
moist; dampness; dejected state of mind
12.
hippocket - thigh pocket ( hip -
hip)
13.
flood [flʌd] - flood,
tide; flood
14.
fling [flɪŋ] (flung, flung) -
throw, throw (s); swift
15.
fling open - flip open . open
wide
16.
empty [ɛmptɪ] - empty; emptying
17.
scoopful - full scoop
18.
scoop [skuːp] - scoop, shovel, scoop; scoop
19.
tumbler [tʌmblə] - a tall glass. wineglass; acrobat; tumbler
( tumble - tumble, tumble, tumble)
20.
pip -bone
21.
pretty [prɪtɪ] - 1. Pretty, pretty; 2.
significant, fair 3. satisfied, pretty much
a pretty empty corner - quite a deserted place
a pretty empty corner - quite a deserted place
22.
muse [mjuːz] - muse; thoughtfulness; reflection; ponder
23.
sip - sip (drink), sip; a small sip
to sip a drink slowly - slowly sip a drink
to sip a drink slowly - slowly sip a drink
24.
dawn - dawn
25.
lamp - lamp, lamp,
lantern; illumine
26.
prod - poking; awl; prick,
pierce; nudge
27.
forefinger [fɔːˌfɪŋɡə] - index finger
28.
Keep it. - (here) Leave the change to yourself.
29.
the house on - on the house
30.
on me - at my expense
31.
spot -
spot; pimple; tarnish; identify, identify; know, notice
32.
check (v) - check
33.
wander [wɒndə] around -
wander around, wander around here
34.
the keep (Kept) an
eye on by somebody -
watch out for anyone
35.
tough [tʌf] - stiff,
unbending; stiff; difficult
36.
twist — вертеть
37.
drag - drag, drag, drag
38.
slave is a slave
39.
rush - rush
40.
interval [ɪntəvəl] - interval,
interval; pause; intermission
41.
thin out — редеть
His hair are thinning out.
His hair are thinning out.
42.
odd - odd, unpaired; strange,
eccentric; random
43.
drunk is a drunkard
44.
tramp - tramp
45.
of some sort - of the same kind, in the same spirit
46.
stickup - plague, robbery
47.
stick up - 1. stand out, stand upright; set up
2. stop with the purpose of robbery, stick out ( stick
out -stick, stick, stuck, stuck - stick,
stick, stick, stick )
to stick up the bank - rob the bank
Stick up your hands! - Hands up!
to stick up the bank - rob the bank
Stick up your hands! - Hands up!
48.
dart - an arrow, a
dart; throwing; throw
49.
hold-up - raid, robbery; delay
50.
hold (held) up - delay; rob
He was held up by the immigration authorities . "He was detained by the immigration authorities."
He was held up by the immigration authorities . "He was detained by the immigration authorities."
51.
particularly [pətɪkjələlɪ] - especially, in
particular; in a special way
52.
all of a sudden - all of a sudden
53.
haul [hɔːl] - pull, drag, drag; tow
out haul out
out haul out
54.
rod - iron
rod; wand; revolver
55.
hold (held) out - stretch
to hold out one's hand - reach out
to hold out one's hand - reach out
56.
grab - grab, grab
57.
gag [ɡæɡ] - 1. gag, gag 2. plug-in comic
number; gag; improvisation
58.
tie - bind
59.
neat [niːt] - 1. clean, neat, neat 2. skillful,
deftly made
60.
scare [skɛə] - sudden fright,
panic; frighten
61.
grin - grin of teeth, grin; grin
62.
mitt [mɪt] - hand, fist; boxing glove
63.
to be after smb - to search, search for
someone; follow one's footsteps
64.
plain-clothes man - detective, bacon; dressed policeman
65.
buddy [bʌdɪ] - buddy, buddy
66.
detail [diːteɪl] - 1. item; to tell in
detail 2. the detachment, the attire; assign
67.
68.
make (made) the rounds - bypass
69.
burglar [bɜːɡlə] - robber,
thief-burglar
70.
set (set) down - put; defer
71.
wipe - wipe
72.
push - push, push; advance
73.
nod - the nod of the head; to nod (in
agreement); nap
74.
amble [æmbl] - go with
amble; amble; amble
75.
disappear [ˌdɪsəpɪə] - disappear; hide,
disappear ( appear [əpɪə] - appear)
76.
vanish [vænɪʃ] - disappear, disappear
77.
stoop [stuːp] - bend over, stoop
78.
swift - 1. fast, fast 2. swift ( swallow -
swallow, swallow, gluttony, swallow)
79.
swiftly - quickly, hastily
80.
tighten [taɪtən] - tighten, compact
81.
rope - a rope; cord
82.
bound [baʊnd] - 1. bound 2. obligated, forced,
mandatory 3. guided, ready to sail ( bind [baɪnd] -
bind, tie)
He is bound to win. "He will definitely win."
The ship is bound to London. "The ship is heading for London."
He is bound to win. "He will definitely win."
The ship is bound to London. "The ship is heading for London."
83.
glance <[ɡlɑːns] - 1. glance 2. glitter, shine
3. take a look (glimpse, fluently); glitter, flash, glide
swift glance - quick look
swift glance - quick look
84.
cautiously - with caution
85.
vault [vɔːlt] - 1. build the vault; jump 2.
pole vault
He vaulted the counter silently. "He quietly swung over the bar.
He vaulted the counter silently. "He quietly swung over the bar.
86.
murmur [mɜːmə] - 1. murmur, whisper 2. murmur,
whisper
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